"The things that make me different are the things that make me, me."
AA Milne - Winnie the Pooh
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FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions
Confidential; Congruent; Compassionate; Counselling
Confidential: A space in which you can share your life experiences with your counsellor, confident that they will not be shared with others. {See FAQ below}.
Congruent: The aspiration that you will gain through counselling, a greater sense of alignment of the different parts of your life and self. That you will become "internally more consistent". I also aim for the counselling approach itself to be consistent and well aligned to itself and more importantly to you.
Compassionate: Having a tangible sense of empathy between each other that results in you knowing that you have "been heard" and not just "listened to".
Counselling: Accompanying you, without "giving advice" and without a sense of "being judged" in resolving personal conflicts and emotional problems.
Is everything I say confidential?
Yes, what we discuss stays between us.
The only exceptions are if you disclose to me that you are involved in major criminal activity or if you disclose information that highlights a potential risk relating to your or others' safety.
I take confidentiality seriously, and in our first session I’ll explain the limits and answer any uncertainty you may have.
All professional counsellors must have "Supervision" with an appropriately qualified Supervisor. Whilst client-related issues are discussed in such sessions, all references are anonymised. The Supervisor is in any event equally bound by duties of confidentiality.
How do you approach counselling?
My approach is Integrative and Person-centred, which means I am led by you and tailor the therapy to you, informed by different approaches that may work for your situation. It’s not a one-size-fits-all process, and we’ll work together to find what’s most effective for you.
How do I know if I need counselling?
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just struggling to manage life’s challenges, counselling can help.
It’s not just for big crises. Often, even sorting through everyday stresses with someone experienced can make a big difference to your quality of life.
Have a look at the pages "About Counselling", "Benefits" and "Types" in this website.
Will I have to talk about everything in my past?
No, we’ll focus on what’s relevant to you now. If something from the past is affecting your present, we can explore it at your own pace. You’re in control, and we won’t dive into anything you’re not comfortable with. I will be responsive to whatever you choose to bring to the counselling room and respectful of your boundaries.
What can I expect from counselling?
Counselling is a space where you can work with your counsellor to explore your challenges, feelings, and experiences. I offer a relaxed, non-judgmental environment where you can be yourself, and together we’ll focus on helping you move forward.
Will you give me advice or tell me what to do?
No, I don't give advice.
My approach is to guide you and challenge you, not to tell you what to do. I’ll help you explore your options and let you figure out what’s best for you. You’ll have the say on the decisions you make, and I’ll support you along the way. I believe strongly in your right to have autonomy and realise the potential for change for you.
What issues can counselling help with?
Counselling can help with many life challenges—whether it’s anxiety, stress, depression, bereavement, relationship struggles, or life transitions.
My particular personal focus is on helping clients manage relationship dynamics, anxiety, depression and bereavement, though I work regularly with a variety of other issues.
Some conditions are though best supported by medically trained specialists (e.g. Eating disorders, Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia) and others by specialist agencies (e.g. Abusive relationships, Drug and alcohol addiction).
Can counselling make things worse before they get better?
Exploring difficult emotions can sometimes feel uncomfortable before real improvement happens.
After some sessions you may feel quite tired and possibly in the short term, feel worse than when you arrived. Generally though you are most likely to experience counselling as a positive process and one that helps you move forward over time.
Can counselling help with physical symptoms related to stress or anxiety?
Yes, many physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, and insomnia can stem from stress or anxiety. Counselling helps you manage the emotional side, which can lead to improvements in your physical health as well.
You may find that a discussion with your GP will lead to them recommending counselling as part of your overall treatment plan and I am happy to receive referrals from them on that basis. What you disclose in counselling sessions would not be relayed back to your GP in this scenario without your agreement.
What if I don’t feel comfortable or it’s not working for me?
The quality of the relationship we have is fundamental to your achieving what you want from therapy.
Your comfort and congruence are a priority. If things aren’t working or you don’t feel a good connection, we’ll talk about it. It’s completely okay to explore other options, and I’m happy to refer you if necessary.
Do you offer online or in-person sessions?
Yes, I offer both, although face-to-face counselling is my preference where this is possible.
You can choose what suits you best— some prefer face-to-face conversations, while others find online sessions more convenient. The important thing is that we create a space where you feel comfortable and that is safe and secure.If you do want on-line counselling there are a few pre-requisites that must be in place to ensure that you are appropriately safe and protected.
How do I choose the right counsellor for me?
This is a challenge that everyone thinking about having counselling has.
It’s important to feel a strong connection with your counsellor. I encourage you to trust your gut—after a consultation, you’ll likely have a sense of whether we’ll work well together. Counselling is a partnership, so a feeling of trust is key. I will not take you on as a client unless I feel we are likely to work well together. I am also happy to refer you to other counselling professionals with whom I have contact if you would benefit from their services or their particular counselling approach, more than mine.
What’s your experience in dealing with my issue?
My counselling training and qualifications have been supported by work within a charity providing counselling to a broad base of clients.
Prior to training to be a professional counsellor I had 40 years experience in business at all levels through to CEO. I have also worked as a hospital chaplain for many years and have had a range of voluntary pastoral involvement in varied contexts.
As such I have a wealth of practical experience I can draw upon within the context of my counselling work.
I continue to study for increasingly advanced qualifications and undertake extensive CPD each year.
If we identify that your issues would be better dealt with by a particular specialist or agency, I will refer you to them.
How do I know if counselling is working?
You’ll start to notice changes—maybe you’ll feel less overwhelmed, or begin to handle situations differently. We’ll keep checking in on your progress and adapt as needed to make sure you’re getting what you need out of the process.
There are of course some clients who do not experience positive change as a result of receiving counselling but they are definitely in the minority in my experience.
Can I bring someone with me, like a partner or friend, for support?
If having someone with you or nearby for the first session feels helpful, we can discuss that option. That said, individual sessions are usually just between us, as it allows us to focus fully on your needs. I aim to make our sessions ones in which you feel free to share what you want and not what you don't.
Often after a few weeks my clients touch upon areas of their life that they would not have imagined talking about on their first sessions and in a way that feels quite natural to them.
How often do I need to come to counselling?
We’ll typically start with weekly sessions to build momentum, but this can change over time for some clients. As you progress, we might move to bi-weekly sessions. We’ll work out what feels right for you.
Generally, clients attend for the same block of time each week, although if you are on work shift patterns we'll need to take a pragmatic and more flexible approach.
The more we maintain the rhythm of sessions, the better in general
Can I contact you between sessions?
Yes, occasionally if something urgent comes up, you can get in touch. However, regular issues are best addressed in our sessions. If you feel you need extra support, we can discuss increasing the frequency of our sessions or identifying other supporting resources.
What if I can’t attend a scheduled session?
Just let me know as soon as possible if you need to reschedule. I have a 48-hour notice cancellation policy, and we can find a new time that works for you.
If you regularly miss planned sessions then we would draw counselling to an amicable close to allow me to help others.
What should I do if I feel worse after a session?
Sometimes digging into tough issues can stir up difficult emotions. If that happens, we’ll talk about it. It’s not uncommon to feel a bit worse before you start to feel better, or to have the occasional backward step or "wobble" but I’ll help you manage those feelings.
What if I cry or get emotional during a session?
Crying or showing emotion is not only okay but can be a healthy part of the process of healing and growth. Compassion is one of the core tenets of my practice and I have been with a very wide range of individuals whose current lives and past experiences cause them distress.
I have a plentiful supply of tissues.
What happens if I experience a crisis between sessions?
If a crisis arises, reach out to emergency services or a crisis hotline.
I do not work as a crisis counsellor but accept that occasionally my clients need short-term support between sessions.
Between sessions, we can set up check-ins if needed, or I can point you toward additional resources for support.
Generally, our sole contact apart for administrative tasks (e.g. Cancellations etc) will be in our agreed, scheduled session.
Will we set specific goals in counselling?
Yes, we’ll establish goals together, focusing on what you want to achieve. These can evolve as we work through your issues, and we’ll regularly review them to ensure we’re making progress.
How long does each session last?
Sessions are typically 50-60 minutes. This gives us enough time to dive into important topics without overwhelming you. Session times are best well-boundaried, so rarely go over time, even if you are unavoidably late for a session.
What should I bring to my first session?
Just yourself and any thoughts you want to explore. If there’s anything specific you’d like to discuss, feel free to jot it down beforehand, but there’s no pressure to prepare extensively.
Each week the focus will be on what you choose to bring and we'll work together on that basis.
What are your expectations of me in sessions?
I have no expectations of what you choose to work on in sessions.
Naturally, I expect you to work within any boundaries that we discuss and agree, although we may agree to change those over time.
I seek to build a safe place where we can build a professional, therapeutic relationship. Honesty, transparency and trust are key components in each session.
Can I stop counselling anytime I want?
Absolutely! You’re in control of the process and can stop whenever you feel ready. It’s always a good idea,when counselling draws towards completion, to discuss it first, so we can make sure you’re comfortable with where you’re at before finishing.
I generally find that both I and my clients start to recognise that the time working together (sometimes just for the time being) at a very similar time and so the transition out of counselling feels very natural.
As long as there is value in receiving counselling, and that a good therapeutic relationship exists between us, there is nothing that stops you from returning to counselling in the future.
As you draw to a close it may be that we have identified that you would value receiving other support. If this is the case I will help you identify what that may look like.
Do you offer any group therapy options?
I focus on individual counselling at present and am not offering group therapy or couples counselling.
I know some excellent couples counsellors and can provide you with their details if you wish.
Will my employer or family be informed that I’m in counselling?
No, counselling is confidential. Unless you choose to tell them, your employer or family won’t know you’re attending sessions.
What should I do if I feel uncomfortable talking about certain topics?
My clients have very different levels of comfort initially. Over time, as trust builds in the security of the relationship between us, some issues that felt very sensitive to start with are now more easily raised and explored.
Throughout the whole relationship, you don’t have to discuss anything you’re not ready for. We’ll go at your pace, and you decide what feels comfortable to talk about. There’s no pressure to dive into anything before you’re ready.
What happens if I don’t have anything to talk about during a session?
Clients may worry that they won’t know what to say or that they’re wasting time if they feel stuck. This is normal and that even those moments can lead to productive conversation.
Sometimes holding silence together for a while can be therapeutic and allow deeper issues to surface.
Will my insurance cover counselling?
Insurance coverage and the attitude of your provider can vary widely , so it’s best to check this out with them. I can provide any documentation you might need for reimbursement, but it’s worth reviewing your policy beforehand.
I do not have any long-term specific arrangements with insurers at present. My contract would always be directly with you, with you seeking reimbursement from your insurers separately.
It is also likely that insurers will only pay for a (small) limited number of sessions.
I do not provide written reports other than confirmation of session attendance to insurers.
Will you judge me for my thoughts or decisions?
Whilst you may have concerns about being judged for your feelings, behaviors, or life choices, one of the core principles of counselling is that it should be non-judgmental.
In Person-Centred Counselling, this concept of Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) lies at the heart of the counsellor's attitude toward his client.
What if I’ve been to therapy before and it didn’t work?
Many clients may have had previous experiences with therapy that didn’t meet their expectations. It’s important to acknowledge this and understand how every therapeutic relationship is different. Perhaps my integrative person-centred approach will resonate better with you than previous therapy.
Or it may be that your previous experience of counselling was positive but that your counsellor has referred you on to me or for whatever reason is not available for you to return to.
Can you help with my specific life stage or demographic (e.g., men, older adults, etc.)?
You may wonder if I can relate to your particular life stage, gender, sexuality or demographic group.
My clients in the past have been as young as 20 years old and as old as 80 and are from a wide demographic range.
Some of my past clients were not sure that they could work well with a male counsellor, but this seems not have been a problem for them in practice.
How do I know if I’m making progress?
Clients may be uncertain about how to measure their progress. Progress can look different for everyone, whether it’s a shift in thinking, handling situations differently, or even small moments of clarity. Lack of progress can happen for a variety of reasons, not least that you might not feel open enough with your counsellor. If that is the case we can explore that and see what the best path forward would be. Ultimately, you have autonomy and have control of the process.
Can I change the direction of therapy if my goals shift?
As life changes, clients’ therapy goals may shift too. You are free to change your focus as needed and I will be happy to talk that through with you. Counselling is a flexible process and should always be focused on what is best for you.
What if I need medication?
You may wonder if your issues can only be addressed with medication. Whilst I can’t prescribe, I can refer you to a medical professional for evaluation if needed, and counselling can often complement any prescribed treatment.
How do I handle relapses or setbacks during therapy?
Clients may be unsure about how to deal with setbacks, especially when they feel they’re regressing. Setbacks are a normal part of the process and can actually offer valuable insights.
Sometimes my clients return to counselling after a while to re-address past issues or to raise new issues that they are struggling with.
How do I talk to family or friends about being in therapy?
You may struggle with how to explain your decision to seek counselling to others, especially if you fear judgment.
We can explore together how you might do that, especially to those who may not have experienced the benefits that counselling can bring.
In the majority of cases, friends and family express relief that my clients are seeking help and a more positive way forward in their lives. Occasionally though this is not the case and needs to be explored further.
How many sessions will I need?
The number of sessions depends on what you want to achieve. Some people make progress in a few sessions, while others might benefit from longer-term support. We’ll regularly check-in to see how things are going and adjust as needed. Many agencies will limit you to receiving only 6-8 sessions (as may Health Insurers too), but going to someone in private practice can give a much more nuanced approach.
How much are your fees?
Details of my fee packages are on this website, on the page entitled "Pricing".
I only have limited slots for my concessionary fees for students and those of limited financial means, as most of my pro-bono work continues to be done through the Guernsey Counselling Service charity.